I get the best e-mails from y’all. Last week a new reader e-mailed me to ask if I had ever written anything on how to deal with chronic pain. I explained that since I only write about what I know, I have not dealt with that subject here.
But then I got to thinking about it, you know me – the reflection queen – (who needs a mirror, right?), and I realized that I probably have more in common with chronic pain sufferers than I realized, I just had never thought about it before. So in the interest of helping someone, here’s another part of my story.
I haven’t blogged about these things before, but I was diagnosed with scoliosis when I was 13 years old after nearly collapsing in a department store. I’ve been in and out of chiropractic treatment for most of my life because of it. I developed allergies and slight asthma symptoms in my twenties, nothing severe, not even enough to take allergy shots, but my asthma has just gotten bad enough that I now take Singulair daily. Finally, I was diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse in my early thirties, something I have had all my life, but only found out about due to the development of symptoms for the syndrome.
So let’s put some perspective on all of this. On a daily basis, I have trouble eating, walking, breathing, sleeping, standing, sitting, and lying down. Almost daily, I can count on either a headache from allergies, or a migraine from the MVPS. At some time during the day, every day, either, and sometimes both, of my sacroiliac joints will give out on me and I have to stop what I’m doing for several minutes or even the rest of the day. And my back always lets me know when it’s time to take more Tylenol and Aleve.
Sometimes when I awake in the morning I literally cannot get out of bed; not because I’m depressed or lazy, but because my blood pressure is too low. (MVPS) Chest pains are common, and could be asthma or MVPS. I could go on and on, but I’m getting tired of thinking about all of this, which brings me around to my point.
Here are my options. I could spend nearly every waking minute of my life in doctors’ offices taking allergy shots, having my heart monitored, getting chiropractic treatments, and on and on. One problem with all of that is that those treatments all have side effects that are nearly just as bad as the symptoms you start with!
Another option, the one I’ve subconsciously chosen, (and now consciously choose) is to live my life, focusing on what I want. I want to have a beautiful garden. I want a clean home. I want a writing, speaking, and coaching career. I want and choose to do a lot of things that I physically probably shouldn’t, but I love doing them.
Now, I know there are many, many people out there who suffer much more than I do and I am not going to belittle anyone or say that you should stop any kind of treatment. But here’s the thing: everything seems to be relative - especially pain.
Several years ago I had the stomach flu. When I finally made it back to work, (I was working in my husband’s dental office at the time), one of the patients asked why I had been out for a few days. I told her, and she shared a very poignant story with me. She said, “Debra, I’m not glad you had that flu, but I have to tell you this. You know I am a breast cancer survivor. I’ve been through chemo and I know what that’s like. A couple of years after I went through the cancer treatment, I had that stomach flu, and I’ll tell you this – I’d rather have the chemo! I’m not kidding!” We compared our symptoms and sure enough, they were exactly the same. She wrapped up saying, “The reason I wanted to tell you that is this: I hope you never have cancer, but if you do, and you wonder if you can handle it; if you’re asking yourself if can survive the treatments, I’m telling you right now that all you have to do is remember that stomach flu and you’ll know that you can stand chemo!”
Now, perhaps Betty’s cancer was discovered early and her treatments weren’t so bad – I don’t know. Pain is a very relative thing – especially chronic pain.
I choose to go about my life focusing on what I want. When I hurt, I do something or take something, or get my mind off of it in whatever way I can. Shifting my focus to the flower bed or the dirty basement that needs reorganizing, writing a post, or trouble-shooting someone else’s problem, is better relief than any pill has ever provided me. When that’s not possible, or if it’s the end of the day, I’ll watch something good on television, like comedies or science fiction – something that requires focus - or read a good book. Your mind really does control everything; to change your experience, change your perspective.
It had never occurred to me until yesterday how often I have to deal with these things, but I’m glad it did – I can now relate to so many more people!
If you’re a chronic pain sufferer who’s found a positive way to cope, please share it with the rest of us by adding a comment below.
Until next time,
LIVE JOYFULLY!
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